I wish that people would stop trying to run another person's life for them. For example, people trying to run my mom's life, which is almost equal to trying to run mine.

Come on, just let her marry this guy, alright. Sure he isn't what you would call 'normal', but tell me, what exactly is normal?

Maybe he isn't very polished, but he's still kind. Too friendly(from a Singaporean's point of view I think)? The world needs more people like him. Too loud? We'll help him to improve on that. I can list out a whole bunch of things that people don't think very good about him, because I used to be pretty skeptical of him too, but today what my mom said did something to that way of thinking.

Learn to accept people for their differences. You can only help to change them after you've accepted them the way they are. I accept my mom the way she is - a bipolar. I'll try my best to help her to stay sane, but if she has one of her mood swings, I'll still love her at the end of it. Oh scratch that. I'll still love her throughout the whole episode. But that doesn't mean that I want her to get sick, of course.

Anyway, we're already starting to feel like a family and I am 100% for this marriage. I hope that people won't come at my mom saying that this will be bad for the kids and stuff, because I believe it won't. In fact, I believe that this will be better for us. It will take some time getting used to having another father figure, but I think we are already slowly but surely getting there.

My mom has got to be one of the most interesting people in Singapore, if not the whole world, and I enjoy having her as my mother. Maybe I'm a little biased, but I bet other people who know her would think so too.

I love her wonderful little insights and her way with words, her talks about religion and stories of her manic adventures. She talks to me about really interesting things I myself have thought about, didn't really know what to think of and decided to stop thinking about because we're 'not supposed to'. Like throughout the six years I spent in madrasah, there were many notions and Islamic concepts I seriously could not stomach and had problems with.

Like why was god so cruel as to not allow non-Muslims to go to heaven, even if they were good people? That was exactly the opposite of him being fair. I mean, if you were born into a religion and brought up in its ways, why would you convert to Islam or another religion just because it says that you as a non-believer, will go to their hell. Just like a person who grew up as a Muslim won't convert to another religion for that reason. It doesn't make sense, does it?

Sometimes I just want to be an atheist. I want to live by my own rules and be a happy person. I don't like having guilt trip after guilt trip for forgetting to pray or for doubting the existence of god.

Okay, I don't want people to stop being religious or something after this post. If being religious makes you happy then good for you - you're confident with your faith. This is just how I feel about religion, and not how you should too. Yeah I know my faith is like, damn weak and stuff even though I was from a Muslim school but some things in Islam just contradict each other, it's hard for me to believe.

Oh, and I seriously hate that hadith which says that you'll get pahala(reward in some afterlife sense) if you kill lizards, because one of them betrayed the prophet or whatever. Like come on. It was only one lizard. Why should the rest of the species be subjected to getting murdered because of one of their ancestors? If god hated lizards so much, why can't he just wipe them out in a single blow and somehow get the food chain to not be thrown off-balance? He can do anything, right.

Got the answers to my doubts? I need them. If nobody has them, I'll just accept the fact that everything in life and even life itself is a mystery.