Hey.

It's been a teary morning with talk about my mother's marriage and lots of old photo albums. I've been so fickle towards her relationship with Irwan. I remember how I hated him at the start, but slowly started to accept him. I had a lot of problems with his attitude and how he was such a loser, but at that point, I'd thought that we would be able to help him become a more polished person. But my bipolar mother got sick at the end of last year and he was helpless and just went along with all that she said. It was a difficult period and I hated how I couldn't get him to understand that my mom needed to be sent to the hospital, pronto. Then there was the 3 am phone call that stressed the shit out of me. He'd called, telling me that I had to meet up with my mom and him without anyone in the house knowing. Of course I told everyone, and my dad helped to send me to Bugis, the agreed meeting point. Eventually we went to my grandmother's, because just as we were about to reach, he said he was on his way there. I was seething with hate and frustration at the time and I knew that life was not gonna be good if he found a way to get into our family. It was obvious he wouldn't be much help supposing the next round of mania came along. And it was pretty much evident when she got a relapse right after she was discharged. The second time in the hospital, I found out that all along, he'd been lying about his age. Instead of being ten years my mother's junior, he was only ten years older than me. Towards the end of my mother's stay, they had a fight. She finally saw how he was not a good man. He'd beaten her up while she was missing during her relapse. He'd refused to talk to me(not that I wanted to talk to him either) and cut in whenever I was talking to my mother because one time on the phone, I'd screamed at him to send my mom to the hospital and all the vulgar words had spilled out. I'd ended up irritated and in tears and that was when she told him off. She told us her plans of breaking up with him. It was such a relief then. We thought she was totally decided. And she was. But only until she came down with the flu which lasted for three weeks. She 'realised' that it was because of him(or lack of). I've been trying to shut out everything that's been going on since then. I did acknowledge that whatever there had been between them was there once again, but I didn't want to think too much about it. Now they're dead set on getting married on the 9th of September. My mother says I can invite a few friends. No need for that, because I have no intentions of going to the wedding.

Bye.