Hey.

I went to the cemetery today. My family plus Khalis, who slept over at our place last night, went to visit my uncle's grave. He died at 17. Most of the time I forget that my life doesn't necessarily have to be a long one. I may die tomorrow, or I may carry on for so long I get sick of living; it's all up to God. Apparently, I have been doing some thinking. And what I realise is that I am not afraid of going. I am only afraid of regretting my life once I'm gone.

I haven't had the best of weeks, and moping around has become a staple activity. Looking back, I realise that I've just wasted a week of my existence. But on the bright side, Saturday was a great day. It wasn't much, but it was the first time in a little while that I felt so positive about everything. My self-esteem was probably at its peak or something that day.

Anyway, My mom and I went to the heavenly HeavenScene in Bali Lane. I haven't been there for such a long time! I seriously missed the shop, the food, the alcohol-free 'beer', Auntie Ning and her three kisses on the cheek! We were there to meet my mother's tailor friend she met on Facebook and her 16 year old daughter. There was a lot of awkwardness between the girl and me, but that was over pretty quickly since they didn't stay long.

My mother and I stayed for another hour, and then we were off. We took a stroll down Haji Lane first as usual. It was really quiet, but it reminded me of those nights we hung out there with my mom's ex. I kind of wish we'd gone into Going Om. The guy my mom was dating forbade her to go there while they were together because the owner of the shop was hitting on her or something? I don't know. There's some weird story to it. Well, now they're separated so she can go all she wants, but she didn't want to since we weren't gonna buy anything anyways.

We set off for the MRT Station, but we missed the shortcut we intended to take. In the end, we went to Bugis Junction to cool off and walk around for a bit. We went around boy-watching and window shopping then finally decided to take the train to my grandmother's.

In my very unbiased opinion, my mother is ultra cool. God, thinking of all the reasons why makes my heart go mushy. I know she can get a bit(or a lot) crazy sometimes and it stresses the hell out of me, but I dunno, I still find her awesome. I guess that what makes me love her so much is that she's understanding, strong, fun (when she wants to be), and likes listening to my rants about boys, whether celebrity or real life. I realise that I'm sort of spending less time with her at home and I hate to think that we've grown a bit distant compared to last year.

I think I want to stop going to Tampines after school already. I have to start being sensible. The year end exams are only a few weeks away and I've gotta face it, my results this term were bad. For some subjects, smackinthefacebad kind of bad. I need to get my life reorganized right now. Sort out my priorities. Hopefully this time it won't be all talk and no do.. I have to work on that too.

Okay long post.

Byebye.